Yelling Too Much at Your Young Child? This Is for You

Yelling. It’s easy to fall into the habit, especially when life throws its many challenges at us—school, family, work, you name it. We often end up repeating the patterns we grew up with. Think about it. If shouting was the background noise of your childhood, chances are, it slips into your own parenting style, even when your heart is full of love for your little ones.

So, you love your child dearly, but find yourself yelling when things get tough. It happens, especially when dealing with a spirited four-year-old who knows how to push all your buttons. You’re not alone in this struggle. Many parents find themselves in a yelling cycle they desperately want to break, not just for peace but to avoid passing down a legacy of raised voices.

Here are some ways to start finding calm under the chaos right away

Understand Your Triggers: Notice what sets off your yelling. Is it resistance at bedtime? Unwillingness to turn off the TV? Start by understanding these moments to anticipate them better.

Gamify Tasks: One trick is to make a game out of necessary tasks. If it’s time to use the potty, why not pretend she's a princess on a royal bathroom mission? Imagination makes all the difference.

Follow and Teach the Soft Spoken Rule: If one person is speaking, the other listens. It’s tough at first, but it’s about practice, not perfection. Practice the rule yourself. Show that listening is as important as speaking.

Set Clear, Consistent Rules: Kids thrive on clear expectations. Set simple, understandable rules. When rules are clear, and consequences are understood, there’s less room for power struggles.

Use Positive Reinforcement: Catch your child being good. Praise them for listening well, for playing nicely, for going to bed on time. Positive attention can reduce negative behaviors.

Apologize and Explain: We all slip up. It’s normal. If you do yell, apologize. It teaches your child that everyone makes mistakes and that they’re an opportunity to learn and grow.

Help Your Child Find the Words to Express Themselves: Sometimes kids yell because they’re frustrated too. Give her the words to describe her feelings and let her know it’s okay to feel them. “It seems like you’re feeling angry because you can’t watch more TV. That’s okay, but we need quiet time before bed.”

As a parent, you're not just managing behavior; you're also building memories. Every day with your little one is a chance to shape her future. By showing patience and love, even in the loud moments, you’re teaching her valuable life skills. Granted it is a tough job. But with a conscious choice to keep improving, with each small change, you’re creating a calmer, more loving environment for your child. Keep going, you’ve got this!

This post is inspired by Reddit user joti59’s question

DISCLAIMER: Our newsletter is purely educational and meant to help guide you through the maze of parenting teens and tweens. Every child is unique, so please consider your own circumstances and maybe chat with a professional if you need specific advice. Stay curious and keep learning!