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Why Your Teen's Personality Changes and How to Deal With It

Tips and insights from a child psychologist to understanding and supporting your teen's mood swings.

happy face GIF by Laurie Rowan

Ever feel like you're living with a new teen every couple of weeks? One minute they're cheerful, the next they're serious and silent. It's like they have a personality switch. You’re not alone. Here’s what’s actually happening and how to keep up…

Understanding the Changes

Teens' brains are like a construction zone. Their mood swings can be intense due to hormonal changes, social pressures, and the process of developing their own identity. They’re not trying to be difficult; they’re just figuring out who they are.

Stay Calm and Patient

Don’t take it personally. They’re not mad at you; they’re just dealing with a lot. Be patient. Their mood will likely swing back soon. Hang in there.

Keep Communication Open

Open and non-judgmental communication is crucial. Try to have regular, calm conversations with your son or daughter about his feelings and experiences. Let them know that you’re there to support them and that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions. Send a funny meme or a short, loving message to keep the door open without pressure.

Observe Patterns

Pay attention to any patterns or triggers that might be causing these changes. For example, is there something specific happening at school, with friends, or in other areas of his life that might be affecting his mood?

Encourage Healthy Habits

Ensure your teen maintains healthy habits, such as getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in regular physical activity. These can significantly impact mood and overall well-being.

Address Social and Academic Pressures

Teenagers often face significant pressures from school, peers, and their future plans. Discuss any stressors he might be experiencing and offer your support in managing them.

Respect Their Decisions

Teens often change their minds about activities they once loved. Maybe your son or daughter suddenly refuses to join a family trip or participate in a favorite hobby. Respecting his decision is important, but don’t shut down the conversation. Keep asking open-ended questions to understand his perspective.

At 17, your teen is nearing adulthood and is likely craving more independence. They may want to make his own choices and handle responsibilities independently. Supporting this desire for autonomy can help them grow into a confident adult. However, always ensure they know you are there to support them and that their feelings matter.

Seek Professional Help

If you notice that your son's mood changes are severe, persistent, or affecting his daily life and functioning, it might be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. A psychologist or counselor can provide additional support and strategies to help him manage his emotions.

Add Humor to Lighten the Mood

Laugh with them when you can. Share your own teen stories. Humor helps lighten the mood and shows them you understand.

Show Genuine Interest

Ask about their friends, work, or hobbies casually. "How's work going?" shows you care without being nosy. Listen more than you talk. Encourage him to express his feelings and validate his emotions.

Be Consistent

Keep family routines stable. It gives them a sense of security amid their inner chaos. Consistency helps them feel grounded.

TLDR: Key Takeaways

  • Teens’ mood swings are normal and part of their growth.

  • Stay calm and patient during their mood changes.

  • Maintain open, non-judgmental communication.

  • Observe patterns and triggers affecting their mood.

  • Encourage healthy habits: sleep, diet, exercise.

  • Discuss and support them with social and academic pressures.

  • Respect their decisions and support their independence.

  • Seek professional help if mood changes are severe or persistent.

  • Use humor to connect and lighten the mood.

  • Show genuine interest in their life without being nosy.

  • Encourage emotional expression and validate their feelings.

  • Keep family routines stable to provide a sense of security.

This post is inspired by Reddit user Master-Suggestion464’s question

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